Recently I was walking down a hill, reflecting on my present circumstances, while on one side of me was trees, bushes, nature and the other side people in their cars. As I listened to music and thought to myself about all the stuff contained in that moment in time, the thoughts, worries, cares and priorities of the people, to the processes, of the natural realm I just was amazed at how much of a mystery it all was. Yet I was able to connect with something beyond myself and my thoughts, to recognise that no matter how big all the stuff was that surrounded me it all somehow had meaning.
Just as the road to my left was put there with a plan and a purpose, so the lives, the nature and my own existence had meaning too. I am here for a reason. And so I was able to take a massive deep breath and know that I was breathing in something far more than just air but life too. I knew God was real, not in an out there sort of way, but in the midst of that walk.
In the midst of my circumstance.
In the midst of life.
So many times we experience things that are far bigger than us don't we? I don’t know if you ever get that sense of how small you are?
Recently I went to a mortgage meeting. I was apprehensive, as the prospects weren’t good and I didn’t want to be embarrassed or feel awkward when they told me they couldn’t help. In the moment the mortgage lady started to speak, and talk about mortgages, and the figures and numbers and money I felt the walls close in, I sank in my chair, and I wanted to leave. I was overwhelmed.
Sometimes things are just bigger than us, aren’t they?
We tend to have one of two reactions when this happens, overcome by figuring it all out - the eternal optimist, or just be and feel defeated - the not-so eternal pessimist (not-so because they are a pessimist after all). But what I’m learning is that maybe we just need to simply submit to the overwhelming and enjoy the mystery.
Life isn't all that predictable is it? To a huge extent I want to know what's next, to predict the next major downfall or rise in my life, but then I don't.
Last year my mum and dad went to their friends farm for dinner. During the night, someone came and said that a cow was giving birth. When telling me this story, my mum and dad proceeded to tell me about the birth, describe it. I guessed what they were going to say:
Gross
Weird
Disgusting
But that's not what they said. It was instead:
Amazing
Beautiful
Fascinating
There's something about experiencing moments like this, that although on the face of it, are kind of odd, they actually affect us so much, that we can but stand in awe.
And it can be the smallest stupidest of things.
The other day I was putting the rubbish out and a young blackbird jumped up into the fence, I just stood there, and the bird looking at me started to sing, a matter of metres from me. It was stunning.
Ordinary bird
Horrible day
Putting out rubbish
Yet I found beauty in the midst of it all.
Isn't this life? The mystery, the wonder, the simple and the complex, the big and the small, the overwhelming and the underwhelming. Life.
And like the author of Ecclesiastes I would profess it is meaningless, all meaningless, if I didn't have those moments, where I knew there was something, someone bigger than me, beyond what I can comprehend and imagine, yet experience in taking a breath walking down a hill. God
Comments
Post a Comment